We need a commission for men in India

Last year, we saw the disturbing case of Atul Subhash where he ended his life after harassed by his wife and in-laws. And we're now starting the new year with another similar case of Puneet Khurana that shakes my heart to the core.

First of all, condolences to the families of these two persons and now, let's try to understand...

What is the root cause of cases like these?

I think, we, as Indians, need more empathy towards each other as humans. And secondly, we need to stop the societal norm that you "have to" get married after a certain age. Yes, people should only marry when they actually feel like marrying, when they actually need a partner; they shouldn't be forced on each other.

For example, I am about to touch 30 years of age in the next few years, and I can already feel the pressure coming from the family about getting married. I am not against marriages but you should only marry when you have found "the one", you shouldn't hurry about getting married.

You shouldn't meet people for "marriage"

Yes, you heard it right – you should definitely meet people, but shouldn't mention that you're looking for a marriage partner. Because that way you won't be know them "truly". If you mention beforehand that you're looking for a marriage partner, they will be on their best behavior and you won't be able to see if they're truly a fit or not. You won't be able to understand their habits, temperament, attitude, etc. and these things are necessary for the long term relationship.

But when you meet people casually, without mentioning the "marriage" thing, they are true to you and do not pretend to be a better person as they would have nothing to gain from you in the long-run. So that way you get to know exactly how they are, what they like, their issues, temper, attitude and all. And then take the decision whether you would want to make them your life-partner or not.

And this is true for both the genders.

Are women to be blamed for these cases?

Mostly, the society is to be blamed here, but yes, both those women are also hugely at fault. I watched a video of one of the women, where she was hurling derogatory abuses which, to be honest, triggered me a lot.

And when we're talking about women here, "pseudo feminism" is also to be blamed here. This thing has made women who follow the concept, believe that men have been badly treating them for centuries and this is the time to take a stand. But they're all wrong here. Yes, even if women were badly treated for centuries, not all regular men are to be blamed here but only the top 1% men who control everything – they manipulate women as well as men.

So... I want tell women that regular men around you are NOT your enemies.

How to tackle this in the long-run?

We need to make serious reforms in the Indian laws, better systems of handling conflicts in marriages, and the courts shouldn't assume the person guilty until proven innocent in these cases. Currently, even if a woman alleges some false allegations against a man, he will get arrested immediately and then only the things proceed – in most cases, either the man ends up doing monetary settlement outside the court or ends up in the jail for years as per the allegations. It's rare that a man is able to prove his innocence on his own, yes, it's rare.

We need significant changes in the law that prevents immediate arrests and assumes the person innocent until he's proven guilty.

And of course, we need reforms in the alimony and divorce settlement as well. In addition to that, the court should also consider prenuptial agreements now, currently, they're not considered valid by the Indian courts.

That's it for now. If I think more about the topic get some more points, will add them here later and update the post.